Writing From Different Gender POVs
I just finished an excellent novel called “Help for the Haunted.” It’s about two sisters, ages around 14 and 18 and their parents who make a living by helping expunge demons from haunted individuals. Hmm. Well, never mind the plot – it actually works quite well.
When I was about halfway through I happened to notice the name of the author. Isn’t that awful? I didn’t even pay attention to the author’s name until then. Shame. Anyway, the author’s name is John Searles. A male . . . writing in the point of view of two young females. The characters were so well-formed and realistic I was surprised to learn they were created by a man.
I began to wonder how many other books I’ve read had characters developed by an opposite sex author. One that came to mind immediately was “Memoirs of a Geisha.” In this book, the author, Arthur Golden, does an excellent job of portraying the opposite sex main character. (Not to mention all the cultural differences that required a great deal of research.)
The other book I recalled was “She’s Come Undone,” by Wally Lamb. Also an excellent portrayal of a female character by a male author. Here the protagonist deals with rape, the death of her mother and suicide. How much tragedy and trauma can one woman deal with and how can the male author empathize so poignantly?
In “Help for the Haunted,” clearly I assumed the author was female. I applaud John Searles for getting into the heads of two young women so artfully. But how did he do it? Does he have daughters? Does he teach high school girls? Does he vet his characters through other young women to see if they are, indeed, realistic?
In my novel, “The Triangle Murders,” I attempted the same thing. The main character is a male homicide cop. But in this case, Frank Mead had been developed in other books with the help of a female character. In this book I simply let him fly on his own. The point is that Frank “grew” around my female protagonist in other books and I felt I knew him well enough to give him the lead. But how well did I know him compared to my female lead? As a woman, how well can I know any man?
Is it enough to be married, teach, be a CASA for teen foster youth, have brothers, sons, uncles and cousins of the opposite sex, to claim to know what goes on in their heads? Is writing about characters from an opposite gender point of view different from writing about characters in a different time zone or location?
I think it is.
What do you think?
I think it’s challenging to write from both points of view. Obviously, if you’re a woman, it’s more comfortable to write from a woman’s point of view. When I write about younger characters, I sometimes have a harder time getting into that perspective. I have also written male characters before, and it was complicated, to say the least. I definitely had to ask a guy a few times, “Would a man actually do that?”
We are not infallible as writers. Even if you write from the same sex, you’re going to run across issues. And maybe even cultural ones. I have had beta readers call me on certain things. “I don’t think a woman would actually drop a knife. I’d hang onto it!” LOL. So, I think taking that step back from our work on any level is important.
Thanks for your comments, Marie. I actually considered writing a YA novel until I realized I would have no idea how to create a believable teenager today, boy or girl! Now maybe a teen a century ago, hmm?
Lynne
As writers, we should be able to do it. And if we can’t do it naturally we must do our research. For Y A, I go to the mall and listen to the girls talk or I listen to the girls on the swim team at my pool. After a week or two you pretty much get the hang of how they talk. There are a few good books about their emotions usually in the parenting section you can extrapolate from that. Now, Anne Rice absolutely cannot write a male character as far as I’m concerned.
The mall is a good place to “teen-watch.” Still, you’re not really into their heads, just their conversation and mannerisms, which might or might not reflect what they’re really thinking. I like the parenting books idea –thanks, Ray. As far as Anne Rice, I’ve never actually read her books, but saw the movie, “Interview With a Vampire.” It’s hard to tell whether the vampire males were authentic males from the movie. Lynne
As a wanna-be writer, and reading plenty of books, I just thought I’d give my ten cents worth.
I am sure that as a writer, you expend a considerable amount of energy trying to create realistic characters. I would encourage you to think about this: when writing, realism is relative to the perspective of the audience you are trying to entice. You ask: can I get into the mind of the opposite sex, or today’s teenager, or…? But, consider that what is probably just as important – perhaps even more important – is how your audience perceives your ability to penetrate the mind of your character creation. In short, I saying its how the audience sees it that is the most important thing. If they think its “real” then perhaps the battle is won?
Very true, Richard. I still think it’s up to the author to make the characters convincing. Thanks for reading! Lynne
Hi Lynne: saw this comment on LinkedIn, and followed it here.
I write from either side of the fence. My latest work (and it IS a work!) is a series of four historical novels that follow a single male protagonist from 1912 to 1946. He is an officer in the German army: he bought his commission with an elite regiment to win the hand of the girl of his dreams, and he ends up a general on trial at Nuremberg after the end of WW II. AND – if you want to check it out – he is a deeply drawn, sympathetic protagonist. http://www.lynalexander.com
I give you this overview to show that, as a woman, I felt I was competent to write from HIS POV in 3rd person. My background: I spent 15 years in the Royal Canadian Air Force during the height of the Cold War, so I know the military. And as an officer, I know military men. And having befriended Frau Rommel during a tour in Germany in 1954 – 56, I got to know the German attitudes, especially at the highest military level.
ALL of this was needed to (a) know my material, and (b) feel at home in another skin.
Your novels sound fascinating — I’m going to check them out since my last mystery was about the Nazi confiscation of art and a missing Van Gogh painting. You make good points, Lyn, but they only confirm my thoughts that you must have quite a bit of experience with the opposite sex on many levels to get into their heads. Thanks!
Hi Lynne
I think there are a lot of elements at work in a writer’s mind. #1: life experience – which is probably why a ‘young adult’ should only write for young adults; while an OLD adult can write for anyone because we’ve been there, done that.
#2: how we deal with the experience as it happens, and how we remember it later. Because no matter from which direction we take our characters, they have to come from inside our own head.
#3: the old advice ‘write what you know’ is absolutely true. See #2
BUT
#4: because it is part of our life experience, for fiction we must camouflage it so that it doesn’t sound like us writing about ourselves.
This writing of novels is a ver-rr-rry tricky business.
As Lyn, I followed your LinkedIn / FWG post.
Interesting post. I just wrote an article for a Dutch writing magazine regarding the differences in male/female speech in dialogue. POV is a generalization of the issue. Understanding Martian guys and Venusian women is the obvious first step (based on the different working of the male and female brain). There are other differences, like women have a wider angle of sight and are more perceptive of colors.
If you think it’s interesting for your audience and if you consider my English good enough, I would be happy to write a guest post on the dialogue issue.
You make some very interesting points, Leonardo. I haven’t had any guest bloggers on my web site yet. Perhaps someday. Do you have a web site on which you can post? Writers would be most interested. Lynne
I do have a website, but it’s only in Dutch at the moment… Fictiion writing is difficult as it is, and writing in English would be an extra barrier.
Come to think of it, I do have 20 or so short stories in English on freedom themes.
Please send me something you have in English and I can pass on if I think it would be helpful to my audience. Thanks!
Interesting discussion. I’ve always felt that it takes a man and a woman to make all of us, therefore we all have a male and a female side. Helps if you have a dad, a husband, a son. Don’t like sweeping statements about the genders but feel men and women – in general – do tend to approach things in different ways. Took me some years to realize that if I told my husband about a problem I had he would be really annoyed with himself if he couldn’t solve it for me when maybe I just wanted him to listen while I offloaded about it.
In writing workshops I always tell people NOT to write what they know – unless it’s also what they really feel passionate about. I don’t know what it’s like to fight on an 18th century battlefield or have sex with a prostitute in a close in old Edinburgh but the hero of my latest book does both. Convincingly, I hope. Surely we can write about anything or anyone using the tools of research and imagination.
Thank you, Maggie. Well said and I heartily agree! Lynne
Yes, Maggie. Men are oriented to problem solving (result), whilst women are more interested in the process. If a women tells a man about a problem, he wants to solve it. Why would she otherwise bring up the problem in the first place?
It also works the other way around. A man will not speak out what’s bothering him, because he sees it as his problem and he wants to solve it. Usually he withdraws himself to a quiet place, commonly referred to as the man’s cave…
So, ladies, if your man has something that’s clearly bothering him, suppress your natural reaction, which is how you would like to be treated yourself: giving him extra care and love. That’s the last thing he needs. He needs to be left alone. Trust me, he’ll come back to you once he has things figured out.
This is just one aspect you could use in your writings. Usually I got the male angle right. Happily I have female proofreaders that point at “logical” female reactions.
Interesting advice. This is starting to sound like Dear Abby. Ha!
🙂 I sort of parrotted from Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. The Tales of the Two Brains is a satire on this theme – here is a synopsis on YouTube:
Hysterical! I even watched part II. Thanks for sharing.
Here is a difference from my own observation.
Women package the things they want to say in questions more often. Men take that as insecurity, whilst the idea behind putting a question is being more polite …
I remember I advised the host of an event that I would bring my wife. (Please be advised etc). My wife said to me something like: shouldn’t you have asked him rather than telling him? My reply was that I would have given the man the problem of making a decision. And what if he says ‘no’? Now the barrier to say ‘no’ is higher (says the result-oriented male)
My take-home was that I need to remember to package something more in questions in the event the receiver is female. Of course this kind of real-world differences are great to put in your writing (dialogues).
Leonardo, this is an excellent example of the differences between men and women. I can see me and husband having the exact same conversation. This reminds me of a book I read a long time ago: “Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps.” Goes back to the cave days when men had to be single-focused to hunt for dinner and women had to be ever-vigilant, noticing every detail around them, to protect their young. I think evolution hasn’t completely changed that picture yet. Thanks for the conversation! Lynne
I recently sent another writer (on request) an excerpt out of The Officer’s Code – a wartime winter scene in East Prussia where the protagonist’s German cavalry troop ambushes and coldly wipes out a Cossack troop.
The other writer said that she found it hard and unemotional, and she did not think that a woman could have written the piece.
I said, Thank you.
It’s funny how we are locked into old notions about how things are supposed to be. Interesting. Thanks, Lyn.